I can always go to work for The Conservative Teen. Via Wonkette:
Now, I know what you are thinking. “But Wiesman, you are not a teen. In fact, you’re quite old!” How can I write for a magazine that looks to appeal to today’s conservative teen? Can I be edgy? Can I be in-your-face? Of course I can. Consistently and thoroughly. I will get biz-zay, as these kids are known to say to one another.*
Or at least I should be able to compared to this magazine, which features helpful advice such as:
“But Wiesman,” you object. “You are not a conservative!” This is only a problem if you think that anybody associated with this abomination actually cares about intellectual consistency in any way, shape, or form.
Sadly, in the three days since Wonkette found this wonderful magazine, they seem to have fallen on hard times. Going to theconservativeteen.com results in an Apache 2 Test Page, and following the link that Wonkette provides gives a 404 error. I guess I’ll have to stick to this blog.
And making WildStar. That too.
* Itchy and Scratchy and Poochy reference, from a 1997 Simpsons episode. Hipness achieved.